


i just want you for my own

by Dreamy_Ideal



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Gift Fic, M/M, christmas husbands, drinking mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 19:03:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17126984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamy_Ideal/pseuds/Dreamy_Ideal
Summary: Junmyeon doesn't know if he deserves Sehun





	i just want you for my own

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift fic for alphaxingsoo who requested seho xmas husbands~ I hope you like it! If not I can give you a receipt for it lmao

"One more please."

Minseok raised an eyebrow at him. His arms remained firmly crossed over his chest. Junmyeon tried to make one of his cutest faces. If Minseok's brow got any higher it would blend into his hairline. After a minute--after two minutes Minseok gave a reluctant sigh and grabbed the glass sitting on the counter in front of Junmyeon. "This is your last one, I don't want you half passed out and moping in my storeroom."

Junmyeon stuck out his lower lip. "Why can't I mope here?" It was one of the reasons why he bothered putting on his clothes to leave his cold, empty house. What else was there to do in a bar on Christmas Eve but mope? If it was New Year's Eve he'd fully understand Minseok putting him out to prevent him from dragging down the mood but he doubted the few other patrons in the bar were doing much better than he was or would care.

"Because you don't have a reason to." Minseok poured him another glass of whiskey. Junmyeon hated the taste of whiskey but it was the only thing making him feel warm at the moment. "Sehun is going to be back in time for New Years. One Christmas apart won't kill you. I can't remember the last time I spent Christmas with Kyungsoo."

Junmyeon wasn't torn up over Sehun not being there, not completely. It was the realization that he couldn't give Sehun everything that he wanted, expected, deserved. Back when they first started dating, even when they first got married, it didn't seem like such a huge deal. That what couples were supposed to do anyway: adapt to each other, love each other through the lows, make it work.

But as Junmyeon was passed over for a promotion it dawned on him that they weren't just going to have to make things work through the lows. They were going to have to get used to things, accept that this was their life. And Junmyeon was used to a life of living paycheck to paycheck, staying in a barely livable apartment, having to juggle bills just right so his bank account was only in the red for a day or to as opposed to weeks, but Sehun wasn't. He was used to having everything he wanted, stressing over nothing. No matter how much love Junmyeon could give him it wouldn't be enough to replace that comfort.

Sehun would realize it, especially after spending a holiday back with his family. Junmyeon borrowed money from Chanyeol to buy Sehun a train ticket to go visit his parents. He honestly didn't know if Sehun would come back. Junmyeon wouldn't blame him if he didn't. He'd be heartbroken, but he'd understand.

Minseok held firm to his refusal to continue serving Junmyeon. Junmyeon left after he was sure that his drunken pouting wouldn't get him another drink. Junmyeon had half a mind to find another bar but decided that maybe Minseok had a point and he was better off moping at home. At least there he could cry if he needed to.

On the walk back home he passed by a jewelry store. Junmyeon pushed through the crowd on the sidewalk so he could look into the display window. The store was closed but the window was still lit up. The little Christmas tree sparkled in the corner of the display. The lights on it alternated white and blue, the watches that sat propped up in boxes reflecting the colored lights.

Junmyeon remembered Sehun staring into the same window just last week when they were on their way to Chanyeol's house. That was when it really hit him that he couldn't be enough for Sehun. He couldn't stand the idea Sehun looking wistfully at things that Junmyeon just couldn't get him, like one of those watches.

Junmyeon sulked in his thoughts the rest of the way home as he sobered up a little bit. He was going to have to talk to Sehun. It would easier while he was far away. With that in mind he tried to fish his phone out of his pocket as he pushed into his apartment.

"You're here. Come help me with this thing, I thought the smaller trees were supposed to be easier to put together."

Junmyeon gawked at the sight of Sehun stretched out on the floor of their living room slash dining room slash only room, fiddling with a tiny green Christmas tree. He pushed the star sitting on the top of it and it flickered on for a moment before it went out again. Sehun then fell dramatically on his side facing the tree.

"And this one was the best looking one. Come on, you're good at this, bring it to life."

Junmyeon stumbled out of his shoes. He didn't bother with his jacket as he made his way to Sehun. "What are you doing here?"

"Fighting with this tree." Sehun rolled over onto his back and held up his phone. "It's been an hour and I give up. Don't want to go out and get another one. It's colder out there right?"

"No, you should be at your parents' house. I bought you a train ticket." Sehun snorted.

"Why would I want to go see them? And why would I go without you? I only took that ticket because I thought you bought one too. When Chanyeol told me you only got enough money for one ticket I took it back and got this tree. And some chicken, it's on the stove."

Junmyeon turned his attention from Sehun to the tree. It was, upon closer inspection, a really sorry looking tree. When Junmyeon poked the star some of the spindles fell off, joining a small pile already on the floor.

"Why didn't you go?" Junmyeon echoed. Sehun put down his phone and looked at him.

"Again, why would I want to?"

"Because I can't give you the kind of Christmas you want."

"And...what kind of Christmas is that?"

"One in a big house that we can decorate and put a big tree in, a tree with presents--"

"I don't want that." Junmyeon blinked back tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. "That sounds like a Christmas you want to give me, which is nice and everything, but that's not the one I want."

"What kind do you want?"

"The kind where my husband takes off his coat and gets the chicken so we can watch holiday specials under the electric blanket. And one where he doesn't try to send me off to family I don't care about."

Junmyeon poked the tree again. Sehun got up, padding over to the corner that served as their bedroom. "Can you fix it?"

Junmyeon fiddled with the string of lights until he managed to wiggle a spot that kept the lights on. Carefully he changed into his pajamas and joined Sehun under the blanket with their chicken dinner.

"Chanyeol told you I borrowed money?" He was going to have to kick Chanyeol the next time he saw him. Sehun hummed.

"He can't keep a secret. He asked if I liked my gift. Don't worry about paying him back, he still owes me money."

Junmyeon shifted so he was lying down. "I wanted our first Christmas together to be special," he said, almost pouting about. Sehun laughed.

"What's not special about it? I get to be in my own apartment with my husband and my terrible tiny Christmas tree. I'm happy for once, that's all I wanted. Is there something else you wanted it to be?"

"I just wanted you to be happy."

"Guess we both got what we wanted."

Junmyeon curled into Sehun when he turned off the TV and laid down. He felt a little bit better knowing Sehun just wanted to be with him. Junmyeon still thought Sehun deserved better but maybe he'd feel differently once the holidays were over.

The lights on the tree flickered off again. "That is a pathetic tree," Junmyeon said.

"Yea, but it's charming. I guess." Sehun threw something at it and the lights came back to life.


End file.
